Posted March 26, 2012 by James Daniels in Marriage

Everything you should know about commitment issues

Anyone contemplating being in a relationship should be sure that the other person will be completely committed to the situation. This can be very difficult, as commitment has lost its importance in these days of so much unrest in the world. You need to remember that a relationship is made up of two different people, with differing ideas about life. The signs of commitment phobia are there, and we should know what they are.

Often the idea of ‘forever’ is too much for a partner to contemplate, so the commitment phobia begins. Even a short-term commitment is frightening to many. In these days, when people leave relationships for no special reason, you need to be certain that your partner is fully committed to you and being together.

The thought of losing their freedom is enough to stop some people from even considering a partnership, let alone a committed one. The very thought of having to be with someone constantly is frightening to many.

This is especially true if the person has a demanding career, or has a hobby that he/she loves to spend time on. The longer a person has been single, the more difficult it will be to step into a committed relationship. People need to be able to feel free, even in a committed situation, and this is a big hurdle to jump.

Things that happened in the past, such as hurts or traumas caused by friends, family or spouses, often rear their heads and come to the surface when commitment is mentioned. Also, the fear of abandonment, or not being loved, will stop the person from being one hundred percent committed.

There are normal reasons that some people do not want commitment, and one definite reason is that they are truly not yet ready for such a step. They may be just starting in the work force and need to commit to their job or profession. If they are young and inexperienced, it stands to reason that they are not ready for a solid, committed relationship. Give them time.

The other person is probably not going to tell you that he/she is not ready to commit, so you will need to know the signals. Many people are charming and attractive at the beginning, but start to cool off as the relationship gets going.

Don’t take this as a failure on your part. Rather, try to have a talk and see if you can iron out the problem before it completely destroys your relationship.

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James Daniels