Posted August 23, 2013 by Norma Watkins in Marriage

When to Forgive Infidelity

When you are hit by the pain of infidelity it hurts. Like the wounding of a close buddy it is deep and painful. Numerous men and women describe the sensation as a “knife in the back!” sort of sensation. Some also report the sensation accompanied by a nauseating, burning sensation deep in the pit of their stomach. A single cause for these sensations are the betrayal and lies that accompany cheating.

Despite the fact that words like “cheating” and “affairs” are borrowed from the company planet to mentally lessen the impact, your discomfort is not lessened. No matter what you call what occurred, you had been betrayed, you had been rejected, and you had been hurt. In earlier instances, words from church like adultery, infidelity, pervert, and reprobate had been applied. Such terms are not utilised often in modern discussions of infidelity since they carried with them the linked blame and wickedness with them. Altering the words applied assists soften the hurt, but does not eradicate it.

In addition to these unwanted sensations, there is also the experience of ‘disbelief’. You do not want to think that one thing so distasteful could happen to you. You may well not want to acknowledge what occurred. You may well even uncover your self fighting having to admit that it happened. The affair did take place, and it occurred to your marriage. You can select not to think it, but that does not erase what occurred.

You do not want to think that the affair is happening. There is frequently a sense of the ‘unreal’ to the entire thing. You make statements like “I can not believe this is happening! ” The gorgeous news of your spouse cheating frequently leaves you with the unpleasant and unreal sense that hangs around your head and heart for what seems like forever. It may take hours, days or even weeks before you basically accept that the cheating did occur.

Cheating rejects you. It rejects who you are and the role you are in. It sends you the message written in neon lights-“YOU ARE NOT Good Adequate! YOU ARE NOT Enough! YOU ARE INADEQUATE!”

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Norma Watkins